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Arkansas Residents Grow Weary of Michigan Anglers

Frustration with out-of-state anglers came to a head this week when the Bull Shoals dam was sabotaged and sprayed with graffiti sending a clear signal to MI anglers to “go back to where you’re from!” as commented by local resident Hank Himler while watching a caravan of trucks pulling drift boats through his little town.  The White River swells with Michigan residents, known to locals as ‘Mitt Monkeys’, during the winter months when northern waters are on lock-down.  These anglers, unable to go a couple months not chasing trout and unwilling to use that time to re-acquaint themselves with their families, are often found tooling around the White River watershed.  When asked why MI fisherman are wearing thin on the locals, resident Hank Himler talked about long lines at the all-you-can-eat BBQ buffets, nonstop craft beer snobbery, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock constantly playing on the juke box at his favorite bar, their ‘stupid’ flat brimmed baseball hats, and a litany of other insulting behaviors.

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One would think that the increase in tourism would be attractive to the local towns and communities surrounding Bull Shoals but it appears that ‘Mitt Monkeys’ have worn out their welcome.  “They keep trying to return their beer bottles for money, they eat all of our beef jerky, and they tie up the store’s bathroom for hours each morning” noted Ed Gantry, owner of the local E-Z Mart.  There is a strong suspicion that this week’s dam shutdown was related to locals frustrated with Michigan bugslingers as evidenced by the message spray painted on the wall of their enormous dam.

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It remains to be seen if ‘Mitt Monkeys’ will heed the obvious frustrations of local residents and promptly return to the north or if they will continue to clog the fabled Arkansas river systems and all you can eat BBQ rib restaurants.

Tues bananas

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4 responses

  1. Keep

    Too bad they don’t realize there is still great trout hunting up here in the “mitt” even in February. Better for the rest of us “mitt monkeys”!!

    Liked by 1 person

    February 17, 2015 at 3:21 pm

  2. Dave

    That may be the worst example of Photoshopping a picture that I’ve ever seen.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 18, 2015 at 9:38 am

  3. Pingback: Mitt Monkeys Top Arkansas Invasive Species List |

  4. Pingback: Travel Ban Invoked Against Michigan Anglers |

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