Michigan Fly is Hiring!
Has it been your lifelong dream to someday become a “big deal” in the fly fishing industry? Have you watched “A River Runs Through It” more than 34 times and still cry every single time because if that damned Paul could have just calmed himself down he’d still be kicking it on a trout stream with Norman? Do you own at least 3 different flat brimmed hats? If the answer is yes to any of these – Michiganfly.com has a great opportunity for you!
1 year ago Michiganfly.com was spawned out of a drunken and cabin fever fueled rage being experienced by 2 fat, lazy, slightly below average fly fisherman. The blog was introduced to the interwebs as a means to combat the winter doldrums and to make us seem way cooler to the outside world than we really are. Through the calendar year of 2014 Michiganfly.com gained a loyal following of at least 7 people (most of them were Nigerian fly tiers), in 2015 we are poised to at least double our readership.
To assist Michiganfly.com in this aggressive and substantial 100% growth (an extremely significant growth rate to all you potential investors out there) it’s come time for us to add an intern to our highly unproductive team.
As a Michiganfly Intern your primary responsibilities will be:
- Follow Dan and Bob around on the river and excitedly exclaim “NICE CAST!” every single time a cast is made, even if the cast sucked.
- Pack an entire large Simms backpack full of high quality beer (that you bought) and tote it around the river for Dan and Bob to enjoy.
- Keep up to date and promptly alert Dan and Bob on recent trends in the usage of the word “bro”, “brah”, “bromigo”, “bruh bruh”, “bromo”, “broski”, “broseph”, “Han Brolo”, “Bro Montana”, “Bromosapien”, “Brorack Bromama”, and “Brofessor”
- When Dan or Bob errantly launch their bug 30’ into a tree – you will apologize to them, and claim responsibility – then retrieve the fly by any means possible.
- All time rower. It’s awesome – think about it like being the “all time QB” in backyard football. You weren’t bitching about that, were you?
- Every single time a fish is lost during battle you will proclaim it either “giant”, “huge”, or “enormous”, and claim very publically to everyone for at least 8 days that “it was the most EPIC thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life”
- You will take at least 76 photos of every single fish that is caught, playing with the angles and poses – so that it looks like multiple fish were actually caught and they can be posted on social media networks randomly, increasing Dan and Bob’s street cred with the fly fishing community
- Assist in the creation of ‘cover stories’ for Dan and Bob to provide to wives, family members, and bosses – generating increased time for fishing and less time doing stupid stuff.
- Run spot to spot during peak steelhead season and loudly proclaim “DIBS!” and guard it from other anglers until Bob and Dan arrive
Minimum Qualifications for the role of Michiganfly Intern are:
- Ability to flat out lie to everyone except Dan and Bob – we are talking like CIA undercover ops style cover stories and lies here
- Must be able to read water, row a boat, quickly identify which bugs fish are feeding on, tie flies, and open beers 2 at a time.
- Possesses top of the line, high end camera equipment and has an adequate knowledge of which poses make fish look as big as possible.
- Pro staff for at least 3 major manufacturers of fly fishing equipment, and the willingness to “hook us up with the bro discount”
- Strong social media presence
- Ability to take on the physical appearance of Dan or Bob (not at the same time), in order to fill in at functions (family or work), freeing time for co-founders to fish
Basically we are looking for a Sherpa to do all the crap we don’t want to do and assist us in establishing a higher level of street cred.
Compensation and Pay:
You will be well rewarded for your efforts as an Intern at Michiganfly with left over flies that are tied so poorly they are no longer worthy of a spot in Dan or Bob’s fly boxes. Also, you will be rewarded with whatever amount of Fireball is leftover from the day’s consumption. In addition, you will be graced with listening to Dan’s remake of the song “Black Betty” which is aptly titled “Black Bugger.” You can also have all of Bob’s past copies of the Drake Mag – it is missing all the page 6 chicks features though.