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Guides Visit the Oracle

It’s a well-kept secret that each year dozens of Michigan fly fishing guides make their way to Detroit, MI to seek advice from the Oracle. This particular pilgrimage has gone on for nearly 50 years since the first Oracle, a DJ going by the name Dr. Funk (real name Alan Stanwick), heard the calling. There have been three Oracles since the good Doctor passed away in 1978 from a bizarre lava lamp accident. A common element shared among the Oracles is no previous knowledge or interest in fly-fishing. Marty Horrowitz, the second Oracle, was a third-grader when he suddenly felt the power to advise fishermen on the eve of his predecessor’s demise. Marty’s power was fleeting however, and left him after only 5 years. It became apparent that Marty had lost the gift when he began extolling the virtues of using baseball-sized bobbers to dead drift Mickey Finns. The third known Oracle to date, Gabe Hallenbeck, was a shoe salesman who manned the post for nearly 25 years. Gabe’s advice set the tone for modern day techniques and tactics and he is said to be the father of many of the flies presently getting the job done on MI waters.

The present day Oracle, Myron Goldstein, owns a chain of Little Caesars pizza restaurants in Grosse Point, MI. Myron’s ability to dispense advice is roughly timed with Michigan’s Hendrickson hatch beginning in late April / early May. Myron’s advice can be hit or miss as the Hennie hatch winds down but those who are able to secure the counsel of the Oracle are often given great insight into the coming year. Many are turned away, often told that their hearts are not pure or their tactics unworthy. It is said that the Oracle is able to share migration insight, fly pattern intricacies, and offer cautionary advice to those who he chooses to accept into his presence.

It is said that those seeking the counsel of the Oracle must present a simple gift and that the current Oracle has an affinity for wine wood tip cigars. The method by which each Oracle divines the secrets of the fishing universe are unique. Those able to gain acceptance are often unwilling to offer further detail but it is believed that Myron can tell the future from pizza toppings. Recently returning guides have been tight lipped with regard to the wisdom shared in Grosse Point. If you have a guide trip planned this year and you decide to broach the subject of the Oracle, be prepared for denial and disinterest in the subject. However, if you are told to try a new pattern or find yourself fishing water previously passed over you may be following advice dispensed by the Oracle himself.

Tues bananas

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