Scandi vs. Skagit Dispute Turns Peaceful Speyclave Into MMA Smackdown
Newaygo, MI – The much anticipated 2013 summer speyclave this year took a strange turn when local spey fanatic Brian Murphy overheard big Jim Mortensen comment to a newbie two-hander that Skagit fishermen are “low brow knuckle draggers”. Accounts of what happened next are mixed but most say that Murphy, known to be hot-tempered at times, strode over and delivered a deft throat punch to Mortensen. The big man dropped like a stone and then rose to deliver a flurry of punches and elbows to the stunned Murphy. It was later revealed that Mortensen is no stranger to a good dust-up as he’d started a local “fight club” in the late 1990′s accounting for his short-lived teaching career.
Clave attendees then formed into their respective allegiances and attacked like clans on an ancient battleground. Card tables flew into the air, folding chairs were repurposed into weapons, and the chili cook-off became a sloppy mess of tangled dudes. Grievances were aired at times. ”You cast like a bag of dicks” yelled Jeff Kerber as he delivered a vicious right cross to Alan Jarvis and “This is what you get for low-holing me” growled Brian Quinlan as he locked Tom Shepherd in a well executed rear naked choke hold. The melee seemed to slow until a group of casting demo participants got wind of the brawl and charged up the hill, waders and all, to give the battle a second wind.
The arrival of five squad cars with sirens blaring and lights blazing signaled the end of the smack down. Everyone seemed to come to their senses, feeling somewhat ashamed. In the end, no charges were filed although the Clave was banned from the park indefinitely. There is a rumor, however, that Mortensen’s fight club is back on and well attended.