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Valentine’s Day

Yo – homeboys (and homegirls)…..Valentine’s Day is Friday, don’t forget!  Put it on your calendar, enter it in your phone, write it on your hands right now – do it!  This is the time of the year that is important for us to fill our significant other’s emotional bank account, so that when we are gone for several days on end and return home, unshaven, forgotten how to properly shower, and reek of whiskey and tobacco – you will be forgiven.

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Just to help you out, here are some things for you NOT to buy your significant other (I know this from personal experience):

  • Fishing gear (unless your better half fishes….actually just to be safe, probably should stay away from this)- you’re intentions will be questioned, as you may be accused of intending to make a future trade so that you end up with the newly bought gear, and he or she ends up with the old.
  • Stars – we’ve all seen and/or heard about the ability to purchase the naming rights to stars.  Sounds pretty awesome doesn’t it bro?  Yeah, its most likely some scam that is originated by some dude living in his mom’s basement, and he hasn’t seen the light of day in 37 years because of his active engagement in online gaming.  Sure, go ahead and name a star after your mate – the same star has probably already been named 1,000,000 times already and you’ll only be able to see with it equipment that rivals the Hubble Telescope.
  • Stuff from Victoria’s Secret (or any like retail outlet) – this is a gift more for you than for her….don’t be so transparent dude.
  • Appliances or household related products.  Seriously bro?  You think that she really wants that sweet Dyson vacuum so she clean up the mess you track in the house?  Oh….a waffle iron you say – yeah, she probably don’t even like waffles.
  • Workout clothes – even if she says she wants them, you are sending the WRONG message by getting them for her.
  • Gift Cards.  Nothing says “I forgot about Valentines Day until my way home from work” or “I really lack the mental capacity to put any thought into this” better than a gift card to your local Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Please share your own person “EPIC FAILS” so that you can help the rest learn from your mistakes.

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3 responses

  1. Two neighbor women were having coffee when one says, “Oh no, it’s my husband and he’s got flowers. Now I’ll have to spend the night with my legs in the air.” Her neighbor says, “Why, don’t you have a vase?”

    Like

    February 10, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    • HAHA! He’ll be here all week ladies and gentlemen! Great one Tony…I may have to “borrow” this one from you.

      Like

      February 10, 2014 at 1:46 pm

  2. I like gift certificates. 🙂

    Like

    February 10, 2014 at 5:55 pm

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